If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
