so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize