This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
