new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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