after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
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I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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