i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
