when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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