This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
