My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
