i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This is my gift to your gina
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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