i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
