how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
