i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was born a porn star she said
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
