She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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