Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need to sanitize my soul.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
