i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
