You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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