Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
