Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
