my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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