in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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