I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
