For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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