Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
accomplished twins. life is a go
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
