i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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