just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
