"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
