Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
