first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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