woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Randomize
