what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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