i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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