yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
