I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
