Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
