I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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