I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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