Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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