idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
