I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
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i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
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Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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