just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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