we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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