Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize