I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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