My hand turned me down
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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