No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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