There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
