mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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