kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
