We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
