Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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