i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
