I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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