I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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