garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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