I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
