1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
