dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
