mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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