you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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