I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
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I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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