Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
