I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
