I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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