i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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